24 Days

24 days... That's how long it's been since my dad passed away.  24 days.  I honestly never thought about how time continues after some you love has passed.  It all most feels wrong, like time should stop for you or those around you.  24 days ago, I was talking with my mom & aunt about the Daddy/Daughter dance Maddie Gray & Josh would go to on Thursday night.  I was talking about where to get her dress & how excited the both of them were.  My aunt noticed my dad wasn't breathing.  My mom jumped up and raced to his side, not that she was that far away from it.  She felt his final heart beats.  I never wanted to be there when he died.  I had made my peace with him.  I was okay with where I was in my relationship with him, in fact, I prayed for death for him.  Watching the light in his blue eyes fade was just about more than I could bear.  This once tall, strong man had become weak and tired, and in his words "I just want to go home."  Home... not to his physical home with my mom but home to be with his Heavenly Father.  The Home The Lord had prepared for him such a long time ago.  

When someone dies, they immediately turn grey.  Life has stopped.  Physical life for some & for those of us left behind, it's something else entirely.  My dad aged about 20 years in the 2 weeks he spent in the hospital.  He was a 61 year old man going in, but when he died he was in his 80s.  I never wanted to see my dad like that.  The image of him laying in the hospital bed, no longer living has haunted me for 24 days.  I pray The Lord take that vision from me & leave me with wonderful memories, like home movies playing in my mind.